The Misadventures of Facebook: Klaine Edition
by WishesintheNightSky
Summary: The lives of the Gleeks told through Facebook. Told starting from 'Never Been Kissed'. Klaine, Wevid, Mercthony  Mercedes/Anthony R.  and the canon couples told in their enormity...sucky summary. Just read. Also, this is admittedly very Kurt-centric.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: The Misadventures of Facebook: Klaine Edition**

**Author: WishesintheNightSky**

**Summary: The lives of the Gleeks told through Facebook. Told starting from 'Never Been Kissed'. Klaine, Wevid, and the canon couples told in their enormity...sucky summary. Just read.**

**A/N: Well, I needed something to do while I was in the process of writing my multi-chaptered Hevans fic (which won't be posted until I complete all of it), so I figured a Facebook fic was worth a shot since I've seen a ton of these lurking in the Glee-verse. So...enjoy! (:**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, its characters, its plotlines, or anything related, sadly enough. **

**EDIT: I added in some more, since there were a few gaps I didn't notice when I wrote this. xP Not big changes, though, so don't worry about it too much.**

* * *

><p><strong>Kurt Hummel<strong> is now friends with **Blaine Anderson** and **2 other people.**

_**(Blaine Anderson likes this)**_

**David Thompson: **Hey…why are me and Wes just listed as just 2 other people? I'll have you know that we are VERY awesome. :(

_**(Wes Montgomery likes this)**_

**Kurt Hummel: **Facebook's fault, not mine. ;P

**_(Blaine Anderson likes this)_**

**Wes Montgomery: **^DISLIKE.

_**(David Thompson likes this)**_

**Finn Hudson: **kurt…who r these people?

**Puckzilla: **dude…i just looked at their profiles…they're from the school with the damn group called the 'garglers' or something...

**Rachel Berry: **SPIES! Kurt, I highly suggest that you remove them as your friends.

**_(Puckzilla and 3 others like this)_**

**Kurt Hummel: **Guys, they're not spying. If anything, I was the one spying on THEM.

**Blaine Anderson: **And was terrible at it. (:

**Kurt Hummel: **Shut up.

**David Thompson: **It was endearing. And we're the 'WARBLERS', not the 'garglers'. I don't even know what a gargler is.

**_(Blaine Anderson and Wes Montgomery like this)_**

**Rachel Berry: **I still recommend that you delete them as your friends.

**_(Puckzilla likes this)_**

**Puckzilla: **yeah…srsly, dude. we told you to go SPY on them, not go and make some new boyfriends.

**Kurt Hummel: **I resent that. They're just my friends. Besides, Wes and David have girlfriends. And Rachel, you're being a hypocrite. I seem to recall a certain Vocal Adrenaline member named **Jesse St. James**…

**Jesse St. James: **Hm? I heard my name called?

**Kurt Hummel: **…why the hell are you still on all our friends lists?

**_(Finn Hudson, Puckzilla, and 5 others like this)_**

**Jesse St. James: **Because you all love me.

**Puckzilla: **^DISLIKE.

**_(Finn Hudson, Puckzilla, and 7 others like this)_**

**Wes Montgomery: ***grumble* I don't even KNOW this dude, and he's already stealing my lines...

**_(David Thompson likes this)_**

**Finn Hudson: **wut u did to rachel was srsly NOT COOL, jesse.

_**(Puckzilla likes this)**_

**Jesse St. James: **Maybe if you used proper grammar, I'd feel more intimidated.

**Kurt Hummel: **Jesse, do me a favor, and get the FUCK OFF OF MY PROFILE.

**_(Puckzilla and 10 others like this)_**

**Blaine Anderson: **O.O

**_(Wes Montgomery and David Thompson like this)_**

**Wes Montgomery: **I didn't take Kurt as the type to use such language...

**_(David Thompson and Blaine Anderson like this)_**

**Puckzilla: **whoa, hummel…didn't know you had it in ya.

**_(Finn Hudson likes this)_**

**Mercedes Jones: **Then you all obviously don't know my white boy. (:

**_(Kurt Hummel likes this)_**

**Kurt Hummel: **:D Love ya, 'Cedes. But, seriously. All of you, stop blowing up my notifications.

**_(Mercedes Jones likes this)_**

**Rachel Berry: **I still say that you shouldn't be friends with those three.

**_(Puckzilla likes this)_**

**Kurt Hummel: **I will be friends with whoever I like. You don't dictate everything I do.

**_(Mercedes Jones, Tina Cohen-Chang and 4 others like this)_**

**Jesse St. James: **Hi Rachel.

**Rachel Berry: **I'm not speaking to you.

**_(Finn Hudson likes this)_**

**Jesse St. James: **Fine. But I truly am sorry for what I did to you.

**Rachel Berry: **Hmph. If I were still speaking to you, I'd say, "Apology not accepted." I bid you all goodbye.

**Kurt Hummel: **-.-…Wow, really Rachel? But, please, just stop commenting on this. Especially you, Jesse. (I thought I told you to fuck off already?) I haven't gotten this many notifications since you all ganged up on me for joining Sue's squad of cheerleading Cheerio's.

**Sue Sylvester: **And what a Cheerio you made, Porcelain. You were easily my best star. It's just too bad you didn't come to try-outs at the beginning of the year.

**Kurt Hummel: **...Coach Sylvester? o.o Since when are you friends with me on Facebook?

**_(Mercedes Jones and 2 others like this)_**

**Sue Sylvester: **I have my ways, Porcelain.

**Wes Montgomery: ***chokes* Kurt, you were a cheerleader?

**_(David Thompson and Brittany S. Pierce like this)_**

**Blaine Anderson: **...

**_(Wes Montgomery, Mercedes Jones and 1 other like this)_**

**Kurt Hummel: **;)...

_**(Santana Lopez, Brittany S. Pierce, and 1 other like this)**_

**Sue Sylvester: **Why, Other-Other Asian, Black Joker** (*1)**, and Love Child of a Hobbit and Schuester, Porcelain here won me my 6th consecutive win at Nationals with a 14-and-a-half medley of Celine Dion in French, while dancing with moves worthy of a professional gymnast. Porcelain being a cheerleader is an understatement.

**_(Santana Lopez, Brittany S. Pierce, and 2 others like this)_**

**Wes Montgomery: ***dies from shock*

**_(David Thompson and Mercedes Jones like this)_**

**Blaine Anderson: **...Kurt, text me.

**_(Santana Lopez and Mercedes Jones like this)_**

**Santana Lopez: **Wanky. ;D You getting it on with prep-school boy, Hummel?

_**(Puckzilla and Brittany S. Pierce like this)**_

**Puckzilla: **you should still get rid of them, but, get some hummel!

_**(Santana Lopez likes this)**_

**Kurt Hummel: **Shut up, Satan. Noah. Blaine's just my friend.

**Santana Lopez: **...right. And I'm not a bitch.

**_(Puckzilla likes this)_**

**Kurt Hummel: ***rolls eyes* Whatever. Just get off my profile, ALL OF YOU. I am in need of my daily moisturizing regime.

**_(Mercedes Jones and Tina Cohen-Chang like this)_**

**Mercedes Jones: **Can me and Tina come over for a girl's night?

**_(Tina Cohen-Chang likes this)_**

**Kurt Hummel: **Of course.

**_(Mercedes Jones and Tina Cohen-Chang like this)_**

**Blaine Anderson: **...

**Wes Montgomery: ***is still in shock*

**David Thompson: **Seems the endearing spy isn't all we thought he was.

**_(Blaine Anderson, Wes Montgomery, and 3 others like this)_**

* * *

><p><strong>*1: David's smile is huge. Don't tell me I'm not the one who noticed that when Kurt, Blaine, Wes, and David were talking after the 'Teenage Dream' scene in NBK. So, I figured, his profile picture would show the same. Hence, Black Joker. Sue probably doesn't care about being a racist, and the Joker needs no explanation...so...Black Joker was born.<strong>

**Anyways, R&R you guys! I'm in desperate need of some attention. Yes, I realize I'm being an attention whore, but I'm in a crappy mood, so right now, it's kind of necessary. ;P So just click that button down there and tell me what you think. Should I continue...?**

**P.S. I apologize for the grammar errors there may be in this. This is unbeta'd. And I'm also sorry for anything I might've gotten wrong about the show. My memory fails sometimes, so I might get some time sequences, or something of the sort, terribly incorrect.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: WHOA. o.o I got more reviews for that last chapter than I did for any of my other stories. You people must really like your Facebook fics. 'Specially since I got more hits on those other stories, and less reviews than I got on this. Yes, I am bitter. =/ Oh well. **

**Anyways, I added just a tiny bit more to the first chappie, so you might wanna check that out. Now, on with the show!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. If I did, Blaine wouldn't have been such an asshole in the moments that he was.**

**P.S. This chappie isn't as funny. I have to get all of the angst that involves the Kurtofsky kiss out of the way, first. **

* * *

><p><strong>Blaine Anderson Kurt Hummel: <strong>Courage.

**Kurt Hummel: **Thank you.

* * *

><p><strong>Rachel Berry: <strong>I'd say that the girls have won this week's competition! That mash-up of Start Me Up / Livin' On A Prayer was amazing. I, of course, did exceptionally well.

**Puckzilla: **haha…riiiight.

**_(Artie Abrams, Mike Chang, and 1 other like this)_**

**Santana Lopez: **Please shut up, man-hands. We did awesome, but you seriously need to get over yourself.

**_(Puckzilla, Quinn Fabray, and 3 others like this)_**

* * *

><p><strong>Mercedes Jones: <strong>As much as I hate having to agree with her, Rachel's right. We have SO got this in the bag.

**_(Tina Cohen-Chang and Rachel Berry like this)_**

**Puckzilla: **said it once, i'll say it again, aretha…haha…riiiight.

**_(Artie Abrams likes this)_**

* * *

><p><strong>Kurt Hummel: <strong>Feels shaken and confused.

**Mercedes Jones: **Baby, what's wrong? CALL ME.

**Blaine Anderson: **Talk about it over coffee later?

**Kurt Hummel: **Yes please. And, 'Cedes, don't worry about it. You don't have to know too much about this.

* * *

><p><strong>Kurt Hummel Blaine Anderson: <strong>Thank you, really. You didn't have to do all that.

**Blaine Anderson: **But I wanted to. And you needed someone to be there with you. Just tell me if something drastic happens again, okay?

**Kurt Hummel: **Okay.

**Mercedes Jones: **Kurt, what's going on?

**Mercedes Jones: **…Kurt?

**Mercedes Jones: **White boy, you better talk to me.

* * *

><p><strong>Kurt Hummel: <strong>I have to say, that mash-up of 'Stop! In The Name of Love / Free Your Mind' was pretty damn good.

**_(Sam Evans, Artie Abrams, and 3 others like this)_**

**Brittany S. Pierce: **but, dolphin, y din't u sing? ur vois is prtty.

**_(Mercedes Jones, Tina Cohen-Chang and 1 other like this)_**

**Rachel Berry: **My thoughts exactly. Kurt's voice would've balanced out the deeper voices of you boys if he'd sung.

**Finn Hudson: **uh…srry, kurt. we kinda forgot about u.

**Artie Abrams: **Oh, that's so not cool yo…we're sorry, Kurt.

**Sam Evans: **ges we got a litl caut up with the beast thing.

**_(Finn Hudson, Mike Chang, and 1 other like this)_**

**Mercedes Jones: **You're all assholes.

**_(Tina Cohen-Chang and 3 others like this)_**

**Brittany S. Pierce: **but i thot assholes wer in the butt…?

**Kurt Hummel: **They are, boo. 'Cedes is just using that word as a way to call the boys mean.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **ooohhh…okai. (:

**Mercedes Jones: **They are, though.

**Santana Lopez: **Even I have to admit that was kind of a dickhead move. If all of you guys get to sing, why can't Hummel and his fine ass do the same?

**Mike Chang: **I didn't sing.

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **You never do.

**Mike Chang: **Right...

**Kurt Hummel: **It's fine, you guys. (: I'm not angry about it. There are worse things, you know.

**Santana Lopez: **...have we gone into some different universe or something? You're supposed to be mad.

**Mercedes Jones: **Satan's right. Baby boy, you really need to talk to me if there's something wrong.

**Kurt Hummel: **Nothing's wrong, guys. Just have a lot on my mind.

**Blaine Anderson: **...

* * *

><p><strong>Rachel Berry: <strong>Why does Mr. Schuester never choose a winning side for our competitions in Glee Club? Except for the 'duets' competition, which was rigged. Finn and I were obviously the best.

**_(Finn Hudson likes this)_**

**Mercedes Jones: **You sang an offending song, and wore offending outfits. 'Course you didn't win, little miss perfect.

**_(Santana Lopez and 3 others like this)_**

**Puckzilla: **she's right, tho. mr. schue sucks at remembering this shit. but the guys totally won.

**_(Artie Abrams and 2 others like this)_**

**Rachel Berry: **Face it, Noah. Us girls beat you this time.

**_(Brittany S. Pierce and 3 others like this)_**

**Brittany S. Pierce: **i wor lether and a hedband...it wuz awsom...

**_(Santana Lopez, Kurt Hummel, and 1 other like this)_**

**Kurt Hummel: **Oh boo, how I love you...

**_(Brittany S. Pierce likes this)_**

**Brittany S. Pierce: **i luv u nd ur soft bby hands, 2, dolphin.

**_(Kurt Hummel likes this)_**

* * *

><p><strong>Blaine Anderson Kurt Hummel: <strong>Coffee at the Lima Bean?

**Kurt Hummel: **Wouldn't miss it. (:

**Santana Lopez: **WANKY.

**_(Puckzilla, Mercedes Jones, and 3 others like this)_**

**Kurt Hummel: **Like I've said before, Blaine and I are just friends.

**Wes Montgomery: **Haha...riiiight.

**_(Santana Lopez and David Thompson like this)_**

**Puckzilla: **that's my line, asian boy.

**Mike Chang: **Me?

**Puckzilla: **no, the other asian boy.

**Mike Chang: **Oh...okay. =/

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Mike, wanna make out?

**Mike Chang: **Yeah, sure.

**Wes Montgomery: **You stole my line the last time, 'Puckzilla'. I figured this time around, I'd get to do the same.

**Puckzilla: **...your asian prep-school friend is alright, kurt.

**_(Wes Montgomery likes this)_**

* * *

><p><strong>There. Sucky chapter, but the next one should make up for it. Miss Holly Holiday is in the house. ;P<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Only 1 review for that last chapter. =/ Lots of story alerts, though, so I'm happy. Anyways, here's the next chappie. **

**P.S. I realized that Sue doesn't actually start calling Kurt 'Porcelain' until he asks her to in 'Furt', but this story's sake, and the sake of my own sanity, let's pretend that she's called him that for a long time now, instead of 'Lady'. And it gets a bit AU starting from here on. Just little changes here and there that lead to more major ones. So don't flame saying that I got my Glee wrong. Anything not canon is on purpose. I watch the actual episodes to make these chapters, so I'm not getting anything ****incorrect, unless it's intentional. **

**...**

**Like that Matt/Kurt I wrote in this chapter. ;P DON'T FLAME IT. It seems pretty damn adorable to me. Haters gon' hate. I SHIP KATT HUMMELFORD, and am DAMN PROUD OF IT. :D It's endgame, ENDGAME I TELL YOU. *cackles* So ignore Kurt not being kissed properly before from NBK. Just chalk it up to him being upset because his homophobic bully was just a closeted jock that basically sexually harrassed him. I'd be upset, too, if I were in that situation. **

* * *

><p><strong>Kurt Hummel: <strong>Coach Sylvester just became PRINCIPAL Sylvester...should I be afraid?

**_(Mercedes Jones, Tina Cohen-Chang and 9 others like this)_**

**Sue Sylvester: **Porcelain, when will you learn that I am always to be feared? That Glee club of yours will be destroyed in due time. You should have stayed a Cheerio instead; then you wouldn't have to face crushing disappointment once I finish off that club of misfits once and for all.

**_(Becky Johnson likes this)_**

**Kurt Hummel: **...

**_(12 people like this)_**

**Wes Montgomery: **That lady scares me...

**_(David Thompson, Blaine Anderson and 5 others like this)_**

**Sue Sylvester: **Why, thank you, Other-Other Asian.

**_(Becky Johnson likes this)_**

* * *

><p><strong>Mercedes Jones: <strong>Mr. Schue looked really peaky today. I hope he gets better.

**_(Rachel Berry, Kurt Hummel, Tina Cohen-Chang and 2 others like this)_**

**Kurt Hummel: **Oh good, I'm not the only one who noticed that.

**Rachel Berry: **He needs to stay healthy, or else who do we have to coach us for Glee?

**Kurt Hummel: **...really, Rachel? You're only worried because of Glee? -.-

**Rachel Berry: **In my defense, it's true. If he fell ill, we won't be able to prepare ourselves for Sectionals.

**Kurt Hummel: **Sectionals is weeks away, and last year, we managed to get a set list ready moments before we had to get on stage. And we won. I think we'll be fine, Rachel.

**_(Mercedes Jones and 3 others like this)_**

**David Thompson: **Wait...you guys won Sectionals with a set list you didn't even practice?

**_(Wes Montgomery and Blaine Anderson like this)_**

**Mercedes Jones: **Oh, we practiced...for like, 5 minutes.

**_(Kurt Hummel, Mike Chang, and 6 others like this)_**

**Sam Evans: **...I didn't know that.

**Quinn Fabray: **You weren't here last year.

**Sam Evans: **...right.

**_(Artie Abrams, Matt Rutherford and Mike Chang like this)_**

**Brittany S. Pierce: **MATTIE!

**Mike Chang: **DUDE, why haven't you talked to any of us since summer break?

**Matt Rutherford: **Hey Britt, and sorry bro, kinda hard to keep up with the new school n' all...

**Mike Chang: **Ah...

**Finn Hudson: **wait...matt talks? o.O

**_(Puckzilla and 3 others like this)_**

**Matt Rutherford: **I've talked before in Glee.

**Kurt Hummel: **Yeah, like...two whole sentences.

**Matt Rutherford: **I've missed your sarcasm, Kurtie.

**Kurt Hummel: **Don't call me Kurtie.

**Matt Rutherford: **Whatever you say, babe. ;)

**_(Mercedes Jones and 2 others like this)_**

**Kurt Hummel: ***rolls eyes*

**Mercedes Jones: **Even with Matt in Texas, you two still get your flirt on.

**_(Tina Cohen-Chang, Santana Lopez and 2 others like this)_**

**Matt Rutherford: **Did you expect anything less?

**_(Santana Lopez and Brittany S. Pierce like this)_**

**Santana Lopez: **WANKYWANKY. The two of you has always and forever will be hot, especially during those make-out sessions. *fans self*

**_(Mercedes Jones and 3 others like this)_**

**Kurt Hummel: **Shush.

**Blaine Anderson: **Who's Matt?

**Wes Montgomery: **Oooh, Blaine, seems you have some competition.

**_(Mercedes Jones, David Thompson and 2 others like this)_**

**Blaine Anderson: **Shut up, Wes.

**Kurt Hummel: **For the LAST TIME, Blaine and I are JUST FRIENDS.

**Mercedes Jones: **Keep tellin' yourself that, white boy.

**David Thompson: **I've never met this Mercedes, but she seems pretty awesome to me.

**_(Mercedes Jones and Wes Montgomery like this)_**

**Kurt Hummel: ***ignores* Matt's my ex.

**Mercedes Jones: **Also known as the 'quiet guy that was in glee club and football last year, but transferred schools because of his parents'. Oh crap, that's long. We'll call him QGTWIGCAFLYBTSBOHP, instead.

**Puckzilla: **how the fuck is anyone supposed to remember that?

**_(Finn Hudson, Brittany S. Pierce and 4 others like this)_**

**Brittany S. Pierce: **mi hed herts wen i try 2 say that. nd i don't kno what a q is...

**_(Tina Cohen-Chang, Artie Abrams, and 1 other like this)_**

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **You are adorable, Britt.

**_(5 people like this)_**

**Mercedes Jones: **Haters be hatin'.

**Blaine Anderson: **Wait...Kurt, you've been in a relationship before?

**Mercedes Jones: **Oh, hell to the no...that was the wrong thing to say.

**Kurt Hummel: **What is so surprising about the fact that I've had a boyfriend before? Are you trying to say I'm ugly or something? Is THAT it?

**Blaine Anderson: **What? No, no! I was just surprised!

**Wes Montgomery: **Oh, dude, you're so in for it now.

**_(David Thompson likes this)_**

**Matt Rutherford: **Hell hath no fury like Kurt Hummel scorned.

**_(12 people like this)_**

**Kurt Hummel: **SHUT UP, MATT. STAY OUT OF THIS.

**Matt Rutherford: ***holds hands up in surrender* Whatever you say, babe...

**Blaine Anderson: **You're very attractive, Kurt! It's just that, uh...uh...Wes? David? Help me out here?

**Wes Montgomery: **Oh, no...you're definitely on your own here.

**David Thompson: **I agree entirely with Wes.

**Kurt Hummel: **So if I'm not ugly, then are you trying to say that I'm a bad person? Or that I'm too flamboyant for my own good or something like that?

**Blaine Anderson: **NO!

**Kurt Hummel: **THEN WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU MEAN?

**Brittany S. Pierce: **u shudn't make mi dolphin mad...or i'l get lord tubbington 2 scrach u.

**_(5 people like this)_**

**Blaine Anderson: **I'm not trying to make him angry! I was just a little shocked that he's dated before!

**Mercedes Jones: **Wrong thing to say...

**Kurt Hummel: ***bitch-glare*

**Puckzilla: **the bitch glare? dude, that shit's really scary to see.

**_(Finn Hudson and 3 others like this)_**

**Brittany S. Pierce: **i dated kurt bee4...his lips tast lyk candi, nd he haz soft bby hands...he wuz the best boyifrend...but he's capital-G gay...i stil luv u, dolphin.

**Kurt Hummel: **I love you too, boo.

**Wes Montgomery: ***shocked*

**_(David Thompson likes this)_**

**Blaine Anderson: **...

**_(7 people like this)_**

**David Thompson: **Wait…you dated a girl, Kurt? o.o

**Kurt Hummel: **I was going through a straight phase! I wore flannel shirts, my dad's caps, and sang a Mellencamp song! I wasn't exactly myself...

**Matt Rutherford: **I remember that. That was a horrible week. =/ You dumped me for a girl.

**Kurt Hummel: **I thought I said I was sorry for that!

**Matt Rutherford: **You did. Still, it kinda hurt my feelings. You broke up with me for a girl, when you're about as gay as the Fourth of July. No offense, babe.

**_(11 people like this)_**

**Kurt Hummel: **A lot taken!

**Wes Montgomery: ***has died of shock yet again*

**Blaine Anderson: **...

**David Thompson: **Will you please stop shocking them into silence, endearing spy?

**_(5 people like this)_**

**Kurt Hummel: **Stop calling me that!

**Blaine Anderson: **…Kurt, text me.

**Kurt Hummel: **Oh, don't think I forgot about how angry I am at you, mister!

**Mercedes Jones: **Hell to the no. We are NOT starting this again. Now I know how you felt when your profile was drowned in notifications, Kurt…=/

**_(Kurt Hummel likes this)_**

**Kurt Hummel: **Karma has managed to prove its existence yet again.

* * *

><p><strong>Brittany S. Pierce <strong>tagged **Kurt Hummel** and **15 other people** in **12 photos**.

**Wes Montgomery: ***has gone into a shock coma*

**Blaine Anderson: **...

**David Thompson: **When will you stop with the surprises, Kurt?

**Kurt Hummel: **BRITTANY! You took PICTURES?

**Brittany S. Pierce: **i 4get stuf wen i dn't take pics…i vidtaped it, 2…ur the best kissr in skool, dolphin...

**_(9 people like this)_**

**Santana Lopez: **I have to say, butch Kurt is actually pretty damn sexy.

**_(Mercedes Jones, Tina Cohen-Chang, and 3 others like this)_**

**Kurt Hummel: **I hate you, Satan. That was one of the most horrifying experiences I've ever had in my entire life.

**Santana Lopez: **I love you, too, Kurtie.

**Kurt Hummel: **DON'T CALL ME THAT!

**Brittany S. Pierce: **only i ken call kurtie that. =/ MI dolphin.

**_(Kurt Hummel likes this)_**

* * *

><p><strong>...that was a random chappie. I know I said Holly was going to be in this, but I got kind of carried away with the MattKurt, and the Warblin' Trio (that's their new nickname) finding about Kurt's straight phase, sooo…I figured I would end it here. Now, REVIEW please! My attention whore-ness is at its peak, so I'll probably whine and not post another chapter for like, a week, if I don't get any reviews. ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: 20 reviews, 26 favorites, and 54 story alerts. HOLYFREAKIN'CRAP. You guys are awesome.**

* * *

><p><strong>Mercedes Jones: <strong>I can't decide if I'm happy that Mr. Schuester is out sick, or disappointed. Either way, the substitute better not be some old guy or lady.

**_(10 people like this)_**

**Kurt Hummel: **No problem, I've already got a solution worked out; don't worry. ;) **sent via Blackberry**

* * *

><p><strong>Kurt Hummel, Mercedes Jones, <strong>and** 9 others **are now friends with **Holly Holliday. **

* * *

><p><strong>Kurt Hummel: <strong>Miss Holly Holliday makes an amazing substitute teacher, if I do say so myself. She is epitome of what I meant when I told Mr. Schuester to loosen up. And her rendition of 'Forget You' was fabulous. But I only got a cup of water when we went to Taco Bell...the things on that menu are greasy and calorie-packed. =/

**_(Mercedes Jones, Artie Abrams, Puckzilla, and 5 others like this)_**

**Holly Holliday: **Thanks, Kurt! :) And I'm sorry, I didn't know that you weren't a big fan of fast food. How about I make it up to you with a shopping trip? ;) My treat.

**Kurt Hummel: **...deal.

**_(Holly Holliday likes this)_**

**Rachel Berry: **I still think that this is a bad idea. We need Mr. Schuester.

**Puckzilla: **^DISLIKE. this chick is srsly cool, berry. don't mess it up for us.

**_(Santana Lopez and 4 others like this)_**

**Wes Montgomery: **STOP STEALING MY LINES.

**_(David Thompson likes this)_**

* * *

><p><strong>Blaine Anderson Kurt Hummel: <strong>Did you get my text?

**Kurt Hummel: **Yes.

**Blaine Anderson: **Well, you didn't text me back...

**Kurt Hummel: **That would be because I'm still mad at you, I'm afraid.

**Blaine Anderson: **...

**Blaine Anderson: **Can I make it up to you with tickets to a showing of RENT?

**Kurt Hummel:** ...maybe...

**_(Blaine Anderson likes this)_**

* * *

><p><strong>Mercedes Jones: <strong>Aw, HELL to the NO! They did NOT take away my tots.

**_(Artie Abrams likes this)_**

**Sue Sylvester: **Whoopi, I find your resentment DELICIOUS.

**_(Becky Johnson likes this)_**

**Brittany S. Pierce: **tots look lyk fri'd randeer poop...

**_(Santana Lopez likes this)_**

**Mercedes Jones: **Do NOT diss the tots.

**Kurt Hummel: **Mercedes, I think we need to talk...

* * *

><p><strong>Blaine Anderson Kurt Hummel: <strong>If you're cold and you're lonely...

**Kurt Hummel: **You've got one nickel only...

**Blaine Anderson: **With a thousand sweet kisses, I'll cover you...

**Kurt Hummel: **With a thousand sweet kisses, I'll cover you...

**Blaine Anderson: **Oh, lover, I'll cover you...yeah...

**Kurt Hummel: **Oh, lover, I'll cover you...

**Kurt Hummel: **Definitely forgiven. :)

**_(Blaine Anderson likes this)_**

**Blaine Anderson: **:D

**Wes Montgomery: **Do us all a favor, and just starting dating already. PLEASE.

**_(David Thompson, Santana Lopez, Tina Cohen-Chang, and 10 others like this)_**

**Rachel Berry: **I still reaffirm my belief that they are all spies.

**Santana Lopez: **Just go back to MySpace, man-hands.

**_(Quinn Fabray and Brittany S. Pierce like this)_**

**Matt Rutherford: **I remember acting like this back when I was at McKinley with you, Kurt. They're right, you guys are going to get together eventually, why not just start now?

_**(Wes Montgomery** **and 4 others like this)**_

**Mercedes Jones: **Dislike. :(

**Kurt Hummel: **Blaine and I are JUST friends, for the millionth time!

**_(Blaine Anderson likes this)_**

**Kurt Hummel: **And I'm sorry, Merce, I'll make it up to you.

**Mercedes Jones: **You better.

* * *

><p><strong>Kurt Hummel: <strong>Went to Breadstix today with **Blaine Anderson **and **Mercedes Jones**. :)

**_(Blaine Anderson likes this)_**

**Blaine Anderson: **That was fun. :D

**Mercedes Jones: **Yeah, I guess so...even if I didn't really know what guys were talking about most of the time...

**Kurt Hummel: **D: I'm sorry. Sometimes I forget that most people don't really understand what I'm saying most of the time.

**Blaine Anderson: **I apologize, too, Mercedes. :( If it's any consolation, I thought that you were fabulous.

**Mercedes Jones: **...I guess that helps a little...

**_(Blaine Anderson and Kurt Hummel like this)_**

* * *

><p><strong>Mercedes Jones Kurt Hummel: <strong>I have a date with Anthony tonight.

**Kurt Hummel: **That's great! I'm so happy for you, 'Cedes. You better give me all the details ASAP. ;)

**Mercedes Jones: **Don't worry, I will. :)

**_(Kurt Hummel likes this)_**

**Kurt Hummel: **Somehow, I have a really good feeling about this...:)

* * *

><p><strong>Kurt Hummel: <strong>Wonders when ignorant neanderthals will stop trying to hurt others.

**Blaine Anderson: **You really should talk to an adult about this, Kurt. Even if he didn't mean it, that's not something you can just sit back and take.

**Finn Hudson: **wat's going on...?

**Artie Abrams:** Yo, Kurt, are you okay?

**Mercedes Jones: **White boy, you're not getting away so easily this time around. You better tell me what the hell is going on. :(

* * *

><p><strong>Artie Abrams: <strong>That Umbrella / Singin' in the Rain mash-up was dope, y'all.

**_(Holly Holliday, Brittany S. Pierce, and 5 others like this)_**

**Puckzilla: **i gotta admit, that song mr. schuester picked was actually okay.

**_(4 people like this)_**

**Brittany S. Pierce: **i stil dn't no y tha rane was insid...

**Quinn Fabray: **It wasn't real rain, Brittany.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **...? than how did it fal frm tha ski?

**Santana Lopez: **Britt's got a point. Where did Mr. Schue get the indoor rain from?

**Kurt Hummel: **The real question is, how did we AFFORD indoor rain, and also, how did our pants not get wet?

**_(7 people like this)_**

**Sam Evans: **...i wuz tinkin the saime thing...

**Mercedes Jones: **KURT! You still haven't told what's going on with you.

**Mercedes Jones: **...

**Mercedes Jones: **...Kurt?

**Mercedes Jones: **It's been 3 hours...

**Mercedes Jones: **Oh, hell to the no...

* * *

><p><em><strong>Mercedes Jones <strong>is now in a relationship with **Anthony Rashad**._

_**(Kurt Hummel and 6 others like this)**_

**Anthony Rashad: **:D

**Mercedes Jones: **:)_**  
><strong>_

**Kurt Hummel: **I knew it would work out. (: I'm really happy for you. And you better spill EVERYTHING.

**Mercedes Jones: **I will, but don't think I've forgotten that you still need to tell me what's happening to you.

**Mercedes Jones: **...Kurt?

**Mercedes Jones: **...oh, hell no, not again.

* * *

><p><strong>Not much humor or anything not in the episode...Okay, so this is more of a filler chapter than anything. Sorry. :( Except for the MercedesAnthony. (And Matt's one line hinting to Katt Hummelford again.) I honestly think that Mercedes needs a little love in her life (everyone else is too caught in their relationships/troubles to notice that she doesn't have any), so Anthony will be guest-starring in this a lot. No Samcedes in this, I'm afraid. **

** And I'm sorry that I haven't updated this in a while. I spent the last week in New York & Connecticut (driving there from CHICAGO...=/), and there was no Wi-Fi where I stayed in NY. **

**Anyways, first person to tell me the Starkid reference I put in this wins a one-shot of their prompting. It's really obvious, so you'll be able to spot it easily. I just wanted to see how fast someone would put it in a review. ;P And I wanted to make up for not updating, and then posting a sucky chapter of this.**


	5. Chapter 5: WEVID

**A/N: OhmyGrilledCheesus, I got the most amazing review the other day. There were two others that were funny as well (one from the same person), but this one just blew me out of the water. I highly believe that Number1KurtHummelFan is going to become my MusicalEscape. **

**_Number1KurtHummelFan:_**

**_Kurt Hummel: This is almost as fantastic as my kilt._**

**_ (Blaine Anderson likes this)_**

**_ Mercedes Jones: You better update soon, whit girl! (or boy?)_**

**_ Puckzilla: This is badass_**

**_ (Lauren Zizes likes this)_**

**_ Artie Abrams: This is dope, yo!_**

**_ (Wes Montgomery likes this)_**

**_ David Thompson: Update!_**

**_ Brittany S. Pierce: ... i dun no how to reed..._**

**_ (Santana Lopez and Sam Evans like this)_**

**_ Quinn Fabray: Even FINN can read_**

**_ Finn Hudson: Thanks. Wait. Whats that supposed to mean?_**

**_ (Kurt Hummel, Rachel Berry, and Mercedes Jones like this)_**

**_ Tina Cohen-Chang: Ignore them and update please._**

**_ (Mike Chang likes this)_**

**_ Tina Cohen-Chang: Asian kisses?_**

**_ Mike Chang: You had me at Asian._**

**_ (Tina Cohen-Chang likes this)_**

**_ Wes Montgomery: I think I just threw up a little in my mouth._**

**_ (Kurt Hummel and 15 others like this)_**

_** UPDATE SOOOOOOOOOOOON!**  
><em>

**I worship this girl. **

**ANYWAYS, WEVID, BABY! And Katt Hummelford. And humor. NO FURT HERE. Also, 32 REVIEWS? 31 FAVORITES? 66 EFFIN' STORY ALERTS?**

**...**

**Iloveyouall.  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Blaine Anderson: <strong>Ohmigod, I think I've been scarred for life...

**_(Nick Duval, Jeff Sterling, Trent Nixon, and 9 others like this)_**

**Kurt Hummel: **Wait, what happened?

**Wes Montgomery: **I swear to god Blaine, if you answer that question, the things I will do with my gavel...

**_(David Thompson likes this)_**

**Santana Lopez: **^WANKY.

**_(Puckzilla and Brittany S. Pierce like this)_**

**Kurt Hummel: **Satan? Noah? Boo? Since when are you all friends with Blaine?

**Santana Lopez: **Ever since the sexy hobbit accepted our friend requests.

**_(Brittany S. Pierce likes this)_**

** Puckzilla: **he's the one who friended me...

**Blaine Anderson: **Wait...I thought you were the one who friended ME? o.O

**_(Kurt Hummel likes this)_**

**Puckzilla: **dude...just SHUT UP. i wouldn't friend the fuckin' garglers.

**_(Rachel Berry, Finn Hudson, and 1 other like this)_**

**David Thompson: **DUDE. It's the WARBLERS. I still don't know what the hell a gargler IS!

**_(Wes Montgomery likes this)_**

**Blaine Anderson: **Of course Wes would like David's comment...

**_(Flint Wilson, Trent Nixon, Nick Duval, and 5 others like this)_**

**Wes Montgomery: **Blaine, SHUT. UP!

**_(David Thompson likes this)_**

**Blaine Anderson: **And of course David would like Wes' comment. :P

**_(Jeff Sterling, Thad Harwood, Flint Wilson, and 5 others like this)_**

**Wes Montgomery: **Grrr...

**Thad Harwood: **You MOCK us, sir...

**Finn Hudson: **...

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **...

**Mike Chang: **...

**Mercedes Jones: **...

**Sam Evans: **...

**Artie Abrams: **...

**Blaine Anderson: **Thad...no...just no.

**_(15 people like this)_**

**Thad Harwood: **You mock me, sir...

**Kurt Hummel: **Wait...Finn? Tina? Mike? Sam? Artie? RACHEL? WHY are you all friends with Blaine? I thought he was the enemy?

**_(Mercedes Jones likes this)_**

**Rachel Berry: **Well, I thought it rude not to accept his friend request...

**_(Finn Hudson, Sam Evans, and 1 other like this)_**

**Blaine Anderson: **Again, I thought YOU guys were the ones that friended me...

**Santana Lopez: **Please shut it, Berry. We just thought that the hobbit seemed cool (and sexy as hell), so we added him. Got a problem, Porcelain?

**Blaine Anderson: **Why do you keep calling him Porcelain? o.O...

**_(Brittany S. Pierce and 3 others like this)_**

**Sue Sylvester: **Because his skin is like porcelain, lovechild of a hobbit and William Schuester.

_**(Santana Lopez, Brittany S. Pierce, and 4 others like this)**_

**Kurt Hummel: **The New Directions are all hypocrites...

**Mercedes Jones: ***cough* Excuse me?

**Kurt Hummel: **Except for you, 'Cedes. ;P Because you're the most amazing diva EVER.

**Mercedes Jone: **Got that right...

**Artie Abrams: **WHIPPED.

_**(Noah Puckerman, and 6 others like this)**_

**Kurt Hummel: **I'm not whipped, I'm gay.

_**_(Blaine Anderson, Mercedes Jones, Brittany S. Pierce, and 10 others like this)_**_

**Kurt Hummel: **Wait a sec...SUE?

_**(25 people like this)**_

**Sue Sylvester: **I have my ways, Porcelain, I have my ways...**_  
><em>**

**Nick Duval: **Wait...you guys are called...

**Jeff Sterling: **...the New Directions...?

**Kurt Hummel: **...yes.

**Jeff Sterling: ***laughs hysterically*

**_(Nick Duval, Blaine Anderson, and 9 others like this)_**

**Rachel Berry: **I don't understand what is so amusing about our team name.

**_(Finn Hudson likes this)_**

**Kurt Hummel: ***deadpan* You mean, other than the fact that it sounds like "Nude Erections"?

**Brittany S. Pierce: **wat...dolphin, u kild a pan?

**_(Nick Duval and Jeff Sterling like this)_**

**Nick Duval: **I don't know who this chick is...

**Jeff Sterling: **...but she sounds like fun...

**Brittany S. Pierce: **a chick! ware?

**Kurt Hummel:** *facepalm* No Britt...I didn't kill a pan. And no, there is not a baby chick here.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **o...okai...weit...wats a facepalm?

**Santana Lopez: **Britt, wanna come over to my house?

**Brittany S. Pierce: **sweet lade kisses?

**Santana Lopez: **Yes, Britt, sweet lady kisses.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **yey!

**Puckzilla: **GET SOME!

**Santana Lopez: **Shut up Puckerman.

**Kurt Hummel: **Oh for the love of mercy...

**Matt Rutherford: **Don't worry, babe. You know that's how they're like.

**Kurt Hummel: **Yeah, I guess...

**Kurt Hummel: **Wait...

**Matt Rutherford: **...

**Kurt Hummel: **MATT?

**Nick Duval: **Oooh...who's this? Does our...

**Jeff Sterling: **...darling Blaine have some competition?

**Kurt Hummel: **(for the last time, Blaine and I are JUST FRIENDS! And I don't even KNOW you two!) Matt, why are you friends with Blaine?

**Matt Rutherford: **Well, I have to get to know the guy that's soon going to be dating my ex-boyfriend and see if he's good enough for you.

**_(Mercedes Jones, Nick Duval, Jeff Sterling, and 13 others like this)_**

**Kurt Hummel: **Oh, Matt, not you, too!

**Blaine Anderson: ***tries to changes the subject* Kurt! Don't you still want to know what I saw?

**Kurt Hummel: **Oh yeah...

**Wes Montgomery: **Blaine, DON'T SAY ANYTHING.

**David Thompson: **I SECOND THAT NOTION.

* * *

><p><strong><em>To: Kurt Hummel<em>**

**_From: Blaine Anderson_**

**_Subject: Wes and David  
><em>**

THE WARBLERS CAUGHT WES AND DAVID KISSING IN SENIOR COMMONS.

* * *

><p><strong>Kurt Hummel: <strong>OHMYGOD.

**Blaine Anderson: **I KNOW.

**Wes Montgomery:** BLAINE! I TOLD YOU NOT TO SAY ANYTHING!

**David Thompson: **WHAT HE SAID.

**Blaine Anderson: **Well, to be fair, you never said not to TYPE anything...

**_(Kurt Hummel likes this)_**

**Wes Montgomery: **It didn't mean anything!

**David Thompson: **...yeah! It was just an experiment!

**Blaine Anderson: **THEN EXPLAIN WHY I SAW DAVID'S HAND UP WES' SHIRT!

**_(Kurt Hummel likes this)_**

**Kurt Hummel: **OHMYGOD.

**Wes Montgomery: **BLAINE!

**David Thompson: **IT WAS JUST AN EXPERIMENT!

* * *

><p><strong>Blaine Anderson: <strong>Wes and David are still in denial, sadly. Warblers, Operation Wevid?

**_(Nick Duval, Jeff Sterling, and 14 others like this)_**

**Nick Duval: **Operation Wevid...

**Jeff Sterling: **...is a go-go.

**Wes Montgomery: **Oh no.

**David Thompson: **...Why do I have a bad feeling about this?

* * *

><p><strong><em>Wes Montgomery <em>**_is now in a relationship with **David Thompson.**_

_**(Blaine Anderson, Nick Duval, Jeff Sterling, and 20 others like this)**_

**Jeff Sterling: **Operation Wevid...

**Nick Duval: **...was a success.

**Kurt Hummel: **What exactly did you guys DO? o.O

**Blaine Anderson: **Locked them in a closet.

_**_(Flint Wilson, Trent Nixon, Nick Duval, and 8 others like this)_**_

**Kurt Hummel: **Huh. Ironic.

_**(17 people like this)**_

**Blaine Anderson: **I thought so, too. ;)

**Wes Montgomery: **I guess I do have to thank you guys...

**David Thompson: **Yeah, same...

**Blaine Anderson: **No worries. (: We're happy for you guys, even if I AM still scarred for life...

_**(10 people like this)**_

**Nick Duval: **At least the sexual tension has been resolved.

**Jeff Sterling: **The worst part was the eye-sexing.

**Nick Duval: **UGH! The horrid EYE SECKS.

_**_(Blaine Anderson, Flint Wilson, and 7 others like this)_**_

**Kurt Hummel: **You do realize that they're only going to eye-sex MORE now that they know of each other's feelings?

_**(Wes Montgomery and David Thompson like this)**_

**Nick Duval: **Oh no...

**Jeff Sterling: **You mean...

**Nick Duval: **More...eye secks?

**Jeff Sterling: **NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

_**(Wes Montgomery, Kurt Hummel, and David Thompson like this)**_

* * *

><p><strong>Haha, that was a fun chappie to write. (: Hope you liked it. <strong>**It's my fave chapter so far. **_**  
><strong>_


	6. Chapter 6: KLAINE

**A/N: Sweetjesuscripes...almost 50. Effin'. Reviews. You people are absolutely crazy...I've never gotten anymore than 6 reviews on any other of my stories, and now it's just like...HOLYFREAKIN'CRAP. **

**Anyways, another thing that made me laugh in the reviews section. **

**_Number1KurtHummelFan:_**

_**(I'm watching Winnie the Pooh. It makes me feel like I'm 5 again. lol)**_

**How I love this girl. xD**

**OH. I just looked at my e-mail...MusicalEscape reviewed on all of my chappies. :O First person to do so, and THIS PERSON IS AWESOME. I'd put in all of her (his..?) reviews onto this, but it would make the chapter too long, so I'll settle for one. x3**

**_MusicalEscape:_**

_**WHAT IS THIS MADNESS. PEOPLE KNOW WHO I AM! ...That's kinda scary, that I'm**__** known. O_o**_

_**...I really need to stop having silent laughing fits. My family is convinced I**__** have spasm attacks :D**_

_**Sue: If you do not review, I will unleash the little people living in Curly's**__** hair upon you.**_

_**Blaine: My hair?**_

_**Sue: No, Schuester's. You have suffocated all of the little people in your**__** hair with that disgusting hair gel.**_

_***next day***_

_**Blaine: WHERE. IS. MY. GEL.**_

_**Kurt: Bonfire. Rachel Berry's wardrobe. I needed a fire starter.**_

**ANYWAYS. *ahem* ON WITH THE CHAPPIE.**

* * *

><p><strong>Kurt Hummel: <strong>We're having a GLEE WEDDING! :D

**_(Carole Hudson, Finn Hudson, Mercedes Jones, and 27 other people like this)_**

**Carole Hudson: **Thank you so much, honey. (: I never would've been able to plan a wedding on my own, so it means a lot to me to have you plan it.

**_(Kurt Hummel and Mercedes Jones likes this)_**

**Kurt Hummel: **It's no problem, Carole. (:

**_(Carole Hudson likes this)_**

**Blaine Anderson: **Am I invited? ;P

**Kurt Hummel: **Yeah, definitely. ;D

**Santana Lopez: **Wanky freakin' wanky...

**Wes Montgomery: **Are David and I invited? Oh, and, *coughGETTOGETHERALREADYcough*.

**_(David Thompson, Santana Lopez, Mercedes Jones, and 12 others like this)_**

**Carole Hudson: **Oh, Kurt, is this the Blaine you've talked about? Hi there, I've heard so much about you...(:

**_(Mercedes Jones and 4 others like this)_**

**Kurt Hummel: ***blush*

**Blaine Anderson: **...you talk about me, Kurt? ;)

**Kurt Hummel: **...sometimes...

**Finn Hudson: ***coughALLTHETIMEcough*

**_(Tina Cohen-Chang and 6 others like this)_**

**Wes Montgomery: **Don't steal my lines, it's already happened too many times for me to stand...

**_(David Thompson likes this)_**

**Kurt Hummel: **FINN!

**Finn Hudson: **wat? it's just the truth...

**_(Mercedes Jones, Tina Cohen-Chang, Santana Lopez, and 7 others like this)_**

**Blaine Anderson: **Well, I think it's adorable...:D

**Wes Montgomery: **He also thinks YOU'RE adorable, Kurt. ;D

**David Thompson: ***snort* MORE than adorable. Oh, what was it that he said...? "His eyes are so beautiful...I can never tell what color they are, but I know I could just DROWN in them all day long..."

**_(Mercedes Jones, Tina Cohen-Chang, and 3 others like this)_**

**Wes Montgomery: **"His lips look so soft...I wonder if they FEEL soft, too..."

**_(Santana Lopez, Brittany S. Pierce, and 2 others like this)_**

**Blaine Anderson:** David! Wes! SHUT UP.

**David Thompson: **Oh, and how could we forget about, "His ass looks amazing in those jeans..."

**_(Santana Lopez, Brittany S. Pierce and Mercedes Jones like this)_**

**Wes Montgomery: **"...but I'd rather see him with them off..."

**_(Santana Lopez and 10 others like this)_**

**Blaine Anderson: **Wes! I never said that!

**Wes Montgomery: **...I see you didn't deny David's comment. ;)

**_(15 people like this)_**

**Blaine Anderson: ***blush*

**Kurt Hummel: ***blush*

**_(Mercedes Jones and 9 others like this)_**

**Santana Lopez: **That's really wanky...

**_(Brittany S. Pierce and 8 others like this)_**

**Carole Hudson: **Oh, young love and the art of flirting...I remember it well.

**_(13 people like this)_**

**Kurt Hummel: **CAROLE! Not you, TOO!**_  
><em>**

**Finn Hudson: **mom! i did NOT need to hear that...

**Carole Hudson: **To be fair, sweetie, you didn't...you saw it.

**_(Puckzilla and 11 others like this)_**

**Puckzilla: **dude...your mom is, like, AWESOME.

**_(Carole Hudson likes this)_**

* * *

><p><strong>Burt Hummel <strong>has now joined Facebook.

**Burt Hummel **is now friends with **Kurt Hummel, Carole Hudson, Finn Hudson, **and** 132 others. **

**Burt Hummel **has changed his relationship status from **_'Single', _**to **_'Engaged'. _**

**Burt Hummel **likes **Kurt Hummel**'s **_status_.**

* * *

><p><strong>Burt Hummel Kurt Hummel: <strong>who the hell is this blaine guy? do i need to get my shotgun?

**Kurt Hummel:** NO. Blaine's JUST a friend, Dad.

**Burt Hummel: **okay...but i think you and me need to have a little talk.

**Kurt Hummel: ***groans* Oh no...

* * *

><p><strong>Kurt Hummel: <strong>Just got a gay sex talk from my STRAIGHT dad...That's not awkward at all. =/

**_(16 people like this)_**

**Puckzilla: **LOL...sucks for you, man.

**Burt Hummel: **i don't see why you felt like you had to announce this to the world, kurt.

**Carole Hudson: **Burt's right, honey...

**Kurt Hummel: **=/

**Blaine Anderson: **Think of it this way, at least you have a dad who actually cares enough to talk to you about things like that.

**Burt Hummel: **blaine, i think you and i should have a little talk as well...

**Kurt Hummel: **DAD. NO.

**Carole Hudson: **Sweetie, don't be too much of an overprotective father...Kurt's old enough to take care of himself...

* * *

><p><strong><em>To: Blaine Anderson<em>**

**_From: Burt Hummel_**

**_Subject: Kurt._**

What exactly are your intentions with my son?

**_To: Burt Hummel_**

**_From: Blaine Anderson_**

**_Subject: re: Kurt. _**

Well, I intend to help him with any problems he has, be a friend while he needs one, and just stand by him in general, sir.

**_To: Blaine Anderson_**

**_From: Burt Hummel_**

**_Subject: re: re: Kurt. _**

Hmm...well, for some reason, Kurt seems to really like you, but I'll be keeping my eye on you. And cut the 'sir' crap, it makes it sound like you're sucking up, which I KNOW you're not doing, right?

**_To: Burt Hummel_**

**_From: Blaine Anderson_**

**_Subject: re: re: re: Kurt. _**

I wouldn't expect any less, Mr. Hummel. And no, of course not.

**_To: Blaine Anderson_**

**_From: Burt Hummel_**

**_Subject: re: re: re: re: Kurt. _**

Riiiight...

* * *

><p><strong>Burt Hummel <strong>is now friends with **Blaine Anderson.**

**Kurt Hummel: **Wait, WHAT? Oh no...

* * *

><p><strong>Kurt Hummel Blaine Anderson: <strong>Okay, what did my dad say to you?

**Blaine Anderson: **Oh, nothing too horrible...

**_(Burt Hummel likes this)_**

* * *

><p><strong>Burt Hummel Kurt Hummel: <strong>why didn't tell me about that kerovsky guy or whatever?

**Kurt Hummel: **His name is Karofsky, dad, and I didn't want to worry you...

**Burt Hummel: **i'm your DAD, kiddo...it's my JOB to worry about you...

* * *

><p><strong>Finn Hudson Kurt Hummel: <strong>dude, y didn't u EVER mention what the hell karofsky did to you BEFORE? we're going 2 be step-brothers, soon...we're supposed to tell each other this kind of crap.

**Kurt Hummel: **Well, it's not like you were exactly willing to jump to my defense before. Tell me honestly, would you have done ANYTHING if I HAD told you?

**Finn Hudson: **...

**Carole Hudson: **FINN HUDSON. I am appalled at you! Kurt is going to be your brother, it's your job to PROTECT him and Burt and I can't.

**Burt Hummel: **give me one reason why i shouldn't just kick you out of my house, finn...

* * *

><p><strong>Carole Hudson <strong>has changed her name to **Carole Hudson-Hummel. **

**Carole Hudson-Hummel **has changed her relationship status from **_'Engaged', _**to **_'Married'. _  
><strong>

**_(Burt H__ummel, Kurt Hummel, Finn Hudson, and 67 others like this)_**

* * *

><p><strong>Kurt Hummel: <strong>Ohmygosh, that wedding was beautiful...Carole looked amazing. (: And the vows were -very flattering- and they made tear up just a little...

**_(Carole Hudson-Hummel, Burt Hummel, and 37 others like this)_**

**Carole Hudson-Hummel: **Aw, thank you sweetheart. But we couldn't have done it without you. :) The reception and the music were wonderful. Where did you get all the money to buy everything?

**Blaine Anderson: **I was actually wondering the same thing...

**Kurt Hummel: **Used my allowance, and it wasn't as expensive as you might think. ;P I had a little less than a $1000 budget...

**Finn Hudson: **holy shit!

**Carole Hudson-Hummel: **Finn Hudson! LANGUAGE, MISTER.

**Finn Hudson: **sorry mom...

**Puckzilla: **lol...

**Mercedes Jones: **One of the highlights of the reception was watching Kurt and Blaine slow-dance...;) Oohh, Blaineee~~I saw that hand of yours go lower...

**_(Anthony Rashad, Santana Lopez, Tina Cohen-Chang, and 41 others like this)_**

**Burt Hummel: **he did what? KURT, GET MY SHOTGUN.

**Blaine Anderson: ***gulps*

**Finn Hudson: **dude...might wanna run or sumthing...

* * *

><p><strong>Blaine Anderson: <strong>Came back to Dalton from Kurt's house (after a long talk with his father that was VERY well acknowledged...), and found **Wes Montgomery **and **David Thompson** about to have sex on my bed. =/ I get that you two are lovey-dovey now, but does it have to be on MY BED?

**_(Nick Duval, Trent Nixon, Flint Wilson, Jeff Sterling, and 23 others like this)_**

**Nick Duval: **I could hear them moaning from upstairs...

**Jeff Sterling: **This is worse than the eye secks...

**_(Nick Duval and 17 others like this)_**

**Nick Duval: **Ooohhh, the wretched eye secks...

**_(34 people like this)_**

**Wes Montgomery: **Blaine, you're just bitter that you got caught with your hand on Kurt's ass...

**_(David Thompson, Nick Duval, and 46 others like this)_**

**Nick Duval: **w00t! BLAINEY, GET SOME!

**Jeff Sterling: **Finally got some action, did ya?

**Blaine Anderson: **SHUT UP!

**Kurt Hummel: ***blush*...Blaine, can we talk?

**Blaine Anderson: **...okay.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Blaine Anderson <em>**_is now in a relationship with **Kurt Hummel. **_

_**(Mercedes Jones, Carole Hudson-Hummel, and 67 others like this)**_

**Blaine Anderson: **:)

**Kurt Hummel: **;D

**Puckzilla: **lol...69 people...

**_(Santana Lopez likes this)_**

**Burt Hummel: **WHAT? do i need to get my shotgun out again?

**Kurt Hummel: **DAD! STOP IT!

**Carole Hudson-Hummel: **Oh, dear, just let them be...

**_(Kurt Hummel and 31 others like this)_**

**Kurt Hummel: **Yeah, dad, please? *puppy dog eyes*

**Blaine Anderson: **Ohmigod, the puppy dog eyes...

**Burt Hummel: ***glares*...fine, but i'm not happy about it.

**_(Carole Hudson-Hummel, Kurt Hummel, and 19 others like this)_**

**Kurt Hummel: **:D

**_(Blaine Anderson likes this)_**

**Puckzilla: **whipped!

**Burt Hummel: **puckerman, shut the hell up. i still have my shotgun.

**Finn Hudson: **lol, fail...

**Puckzilla: **DUDE. just shut up...

* * *

><p><strong>I just wrote CaroleBurt (Curt? No..Carurt?...no. Barole? Maybe...), Klaine humor, put the Warblin' Trio in the wedding, a little Mercthony, Wevid almost-schmex, and GOT KLAINE TOGETHER. **

**...**

**I feel accomplished. Don't worry, though, it's not over yet. ;P**

**I'mma wait for reviews nao.  
><strong>


End file.
